Personal. Private. Protected.
Is it ever ok to read words not meant for you?
Earlier this week, I interacted with a LinkedIn post in which someone confessed they had no privacy when they were growing up.
When they were 12, a person in the family discovered their diary and read it.
Repercussions for expressing their personal thoughts followed.
When I shared my thoughts on this in my own post, I discovered that people had a lot to say about the importance of privacy.
Many people echoed similar experiences of growing up with no respect for their personal boundaries and how that continues to affect them as adults.
My heart breaks for them.
One person shared how her own experience with having her privacy repeatedly violated had led her to respect others’ privacy without question.
That perspective shifted after a person had passed, especially if the late person’s diary or journal entries contributed to their legacy. Even so, there was still the possibility of discovering secrets that might be better off remaining buried…
I was a fortunate child: My parents taught me the value of respecting others while at the same time modelling that respect for me.
Some people shared my good fortune. “I have a pact with a friend to destroy her journals upon her death,” said one.
That reminded me of Terry Pratchett (so many things remind me of Pratchett). Upon his death, Pratchett’s will stipulated that his computer hard drive containing all of his unfinished, unpublished manuscripts—he would often work on multiple projects at a time—either be shot into space or run over with a steam roller. It was crushed by a steam roller.
I endorse the “destruction of personal writing” approach. That’s why I had a big bonfire and burned my late husband's prayer journals after he passed. Those words belonged to him, not to me…
Another commenter said that grief or loss would tempt them to read what wasn’t meant for them:
I fully understand that.
In my novel Dear Alderone, 14-year old Rayna discovers journals her grandmother kept as a teenager. Though Rayna recognizes the violation of privacy, her grandma, her guardian, is in the hospital in serious condition. I get that the reader may blame Rayna for reading the journals, but I wanted to make it clear why she does it.
Rayna stays up all night reading—and learns more than she ever dreamed about her grandma, her family, and herself.
What's your take on the ethics of reading someone's private writing?
Have you ever read something not meant for your eyes?
Did someone ever read something you wrote just for you?
What happened? I’d love to know.
Obligatory Corgi Update
The Incorrigible Corgi Triad continues to spread joy wherever they go.
On Fridays, when I’m at the Great Lakes Antique Mall, I take them to work with me. They have a devoted following of fans—several of whom come to the mall just to see the dogs!
Since it’s February and we have a foot of snow, most afternoons and evenings find them sacked out on the couch, trying to put their snuffly noses on my computer keyboard as I work and wondering why I discourage them from doing so.
Phoebe has discovered that she really, really likes being a couch tater. She’s making up for being snuggle-deprived for the first two years of her life.
Her favorite thing to do is wait until the two boys are settled next to me, then climb on top of them to be the cheerleader atop the pyramid.
Many happy hours are whiled away in this manner.
Life doesn’t get much better.
Till next month: stay warm, be kind, and read well!
